A few lifetimes ago (two years), I had a huge terrible surprise brain tumor (can you see it in the picture? I MEAN JAYSUS) and needed brain surgery. Now I have to get an MRI once a year to make sure that fucker hasn’t returned. It’s typically my favorite day of the year because once I get into that tube, I fall asleep, hard. I wake up with drool all down my face and have no idea where I am (which kind of makes sense because…it’s weird to wake up as you are being pulled out of an enormous tube).
At any rate, yesterday was the day. The receptionist checked me in and said, “okay, here’s your insurance card back, and I see…that you owe…$643.” SIX HUNDRED FORTY THREE DOLLARS FOR A HALF HOUR NAP.
I was taken aback because don’t I have insurance? But then I remembered that I can get reimbursed from my health savings account for health care costs, and that I was about $700 away from hitting the bonus on my Barclaycard Arrival Plus card. That bonus is step 1 of getting us to Disney World for free.
Thanks, shitty health insurance! We’re going to Disney World!