If a tree falls in the woods, does it cost $800?

We have terrible wind storms.

We have trees.

Sometimes, those trees fall down.

Last year, we had a tree in our front yard that we finally decided to take out, to the tune of $900. It was huge, it was dying, and if (when) it fell, it was going to fall on our house and kill us in the night.

Now, we have a tree on the side of our property, also huge, that came out of the last windstorm leaning about 20 degrees to the left. I asked my brother, a tree guy, if maybe this was a case of “that which doesn’t kill that tree makes it stronger.” He laughed. No.

The tree is at the side of our property, and if it falls forward, it will be fine. Forward to the right, fine. Forward to the left, fine. Sideways left, fine. Backward in any direction (it won’t), fine. Sideways to the right…and it will fall directly onto our neighbor’s pool house.

“Maybe it’ll be fine,” I thought. “Maybe we can pretend we didn’t see it and then it’s an act of God.” But the neighbor brought it up to me and there goes that plan.

Finally, because I am a responsible adult, I had the tree guy come out to look at it yesterday. $800, he said. “But,” he also said. “It’s almost certainly not going to fall on that pool house. The way it is leaning, it’ll get caught in the other trees, and possibly fall forward to the right, but it’s not going to fall straight sideways.”

Is he right? Who knows! Who cares! I’ve had an expert tell me not to spend $800, so I’m going to go ahead and not spend $800.

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