I’m trying to decide whether to keep blogging or give it up. I promised my brother, who is by nature of being younger than me not as wise as I am, that I would give it a year. It’s been about three and a half months. I thought I would run out of things to say in a month, but it turns out I can talk your ear off if you’ll let me.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. It’s that 1) I feel like a fraud because we have so much stupid debt and I can talk a big game but we keep having stupid debt. And 2) the only way I see out of this stupid debt is by doing more freelancing but that seems impossible when I’m spending so much time writing and rewriting and rerewriting and then trashing it all and starting over. And also 3) I’m actually kind of grossed out with my obsession with money. Can I admit that? I hate how much I think about debt, how much I’m willing to give up so that I can freelance so that we can have more money. I want to be a person who – well, let’s be honest. I want to be a person who lives in a hut on a mountainside and eats nuts and berries and eschews technology.
But I’m not that person, I’m a person who spent 20K on a new bathroom and a half, a person who thinks that kids should have blowout birthday parties, a person who checks Facebook 452,000 times a day even after I unfollowed every single person on my friends list except that one lady who is making a billion dollars in an MLM because I am so freaking fascinated.
I moved down to a three-posts-per-week schedule, which is more manageable, but can I justify that when I’m on track to finish this month $1500 behind my freelance schedule?
Can I justify my renewed interest in Facebook now that I joined a bunch of FI groups? Do I need to be checking the Internet 20 times an hour because somebody might say something relevant? How often can one check their WordPress stats?
Three per week is manageable. I love writing. I can exercise some self-control (the only kind of control I hate) and leave some Facebook group posts unread.
So here are some goals: write less, hit my freelance goals, back off of Facebook some, sit outside in the sunshine every once in awhile.